Getting Over Someone


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Basic question here: how can I tell when I’m over someone and ready to be with someone else?

- C.G., Boston, MA

That is a basic question, but not a simple one. I’m not sure I can even answer it.

Sometimes hearing someone else’s experiences put things in perspective. Here is a situation concerning a person I dated, how I personally view it, and how I make it work for me. Maybe this example will help clear things up a little bit for you too.

In my life, I’ve seen a lot of relationships and been envious of very few. I see a lot of phoniness, relationships of convenience, and people together for all the wrong reasons.

But I knew that my relationship with her was something incredibly, incredibly special. I’d never felt anything like that; it was something totally different than all the rest I’d ever been in. It was comparing apples to oranges, as the saying goes.

In every way, I found her to be the most beautiful thing that I’d ever seen. We showed each other our best and our worst and remained together because we believed in each other as individuals and believed in us as a couple.

It’s interesting to think of all the things we are taught and all we are not. People are taught a million things growing up: how to read, how to use a stove without burning their hands, how to fold a towel, how to drive, and so on.

But we’re never taught some of the things that are imperative in relationships; we’re somehow expected to learn them as we go and by trial and error. I, like many others, never learned how to trust someone to give them all of my feelings, so I’d always held something back, which isn’t fair.

I also never learned how to forgive someone that I loved when they hurt me. And I certainly never learned what to do when you find someone who is perfect for you. It sounds like such a great thing, but it can be one of the most overwhelming feelings you ever experience because you want it to work out more than you want anything else in your life.

And sometimes, by the time you start to realize these things, it’s too late to make everything right.

Making her cry was the worst thing I’ve ever done and just thinking about it hurts me more than anything I’ve ever lost, never achieved, failed at, or I could really explain here.

And now she’s gone. We had talked about “forever” but this isn’t the kind of “forever” I thought we meant.

Who we were at the time we made our memories, we’ll always be – that man will always love that woman and that woman will always love him just as much. I still miss so many things about her, namely counting on – and believing in – us.

I still think about her every day and wonder, wonder, and wonder. I made her an enormous part of my life and now that she’s gone, that life as I knew it is too.

The pain is normal. But don’t think that because you feel pain you can’t move on. What happened between the two of you obviously affected you, so the hurting is expected. Truthfully, and unfortunately, it may be felt for a long, long time.

If you think about it, you probably still don’t feel great about the moment you found out you didn’t get that job you really wanted or a pet that died when you were a kid. You may never feel perfectly fine about this situation either.

What I realized, and what you must too, is that you have to move on. They have. They have their own life going, and whether it’s them being alone or them being with someone else – it’s still them being without you.

There is no other option; you can’t stay closed off and emotionally unavailable forever in hopes they will change their mind about you or that it will work out somehow. Knowing when to let go and move forward it is the hard part.

You don’t want to do it when you’re emotionally unavailable, angry at life, or will be anything but the best person you can be to whomever it is you end up with next. I don’t know if you’re there. Maybe you don’t even know if you’re there.

Video Games Can Be Educational For Children

There seems to be a constant battle on how video games are affecting the children that are playing them, but the fact is that video games can teach children too. In fact, video games can help to enhance the reading skills of a child, not to mention help build their coordination and visual skills.

In several video games, your child get to become the main character who travels throughout the game purchasing different items needed to complete the video game successfully, while reading special instructions given throughout the video game. Since the child is simply interested in playing the video game they become unaware that they are actually reading and often times the reading is above their regular grade level. You may often hear your child say they do not like to read, but if you will take the time to watch them play particular video games and tell them you can not see the writing that well, then hopefully they will read it to you and you will become fairly surprised.

Video games can even inspire children to new interests as well. In fact, when a child plays a video game that they do not know much about, then you may see your child bringing books home from the school library that are similar to their new video game. When a child is participating in a video game, then children can see history come alive. Each video game that your child plays must be viewed as having a positive side instead of listening to all the hubba of others, because video games can teach your child different skills.

Some video games are designed to teach the skills necessary for making a living as they give the gamer a variety of different choices. Video games also confront gamers with issues such as moral dilemmas, solving challenging problems, and developing social relationships as well. Children who play video games often have the pick up from a cluttered area than those that do not. In fact, studies are now showing that when learning is added into video game playing children begin being faster at the other activities they participate in.

Some where in the future of time teachers may begin incorporating the playing of video games into the assignments of their students. Several government agencies will use computerized video games to assist in stimulating certain types of situations for their employees. In fact, even the military and NASA train with computerized video games, which is due to the changes in computer technology. By looking more at the positive side of video games parents and teacher could really bring themselves closer to children.

Often times children are playing their video games on-line, which makes playing video games much more of a social activity. Children and adults can learn more from each other if they take the time to learn how to play these video games with each other, which will also open up the lines of communication and understanding. Hopefully, more individuals will see video games in a more positive light instead of in a negative way most of the time.

Menopause – Defination, Causes, Symptoms And Treatment

Menopause is the physiological cessation of menstrual cycles associated with advancing age in women. Menopause is defined as absence of menstrual periods for 12 months. The menopausal transition starts with varying menstrual cycle length and ends with the final menstrual period. Perimenopause means “around the time of menopause.” It is not officially a medical term, but is sometimes used to explain certain aspects of the menopause transition in lay terms. Many women experience a variety of symptoms as a result of the hormonal changes associated with the transition through menopause. Postmenopause is the entire period of time that comes after the last menstrual period. The menopause is sometimes referred to as change of life or climacteric.

The condition also exists in some of the other species that experience such cycles, such as rhesus monkeys and some cetaceans. Menopause is a natural biological process, not a medical illness. Several generations ago, few women lived beyond menopause. Today, you may spend as much as half of your life after menopause. Menopause affects every woman differently. Your only symptom may be your period stopping. You may have other symptoms, too. Many symptoms at this time of life are because of you Menopause is a natural process that happens to every woman as she grows older, and is not a medical problem, disease or illness.

Some women may have a hard time because of the changes in hormone levels during menopause. Premature menopause (or premature ovarian failure) is defined as menopause occurring before the age of 40; it occurs in 1% of women. Other causes of premature menopause include autoimmune disorders, thyroid disease, and diabetes mellitus. Menopause experiences are different among individual women, and also among women in different cultures and in different parts of the world. There are many possible signs of menopause and each woman feels them differently. Most women have no or few menopausal symptoms while some women have many moderate or severe symptoms include is weight gain; hot flashes; insomnia; night sweats; vaginal dryness; joint pain; fatigue and urinary tract infections.

Causes of Menopause

1.Perimenopause.

2.Postmenopause.

Symptoms of Menopause

1.Weight gain.

2.Hot flashes.

3.Insomnia

4.Night sweats.

5.Vaginal dryness.

6.Joint pain.

7.Fatigue.

Treatment of Menopause

Take estrogen replacement therapy (ERT) or hormone replacement therapy (HRT), which is a combination of estrogen and progesterone, should be an individualized choice. There are three (3) types of replacement therapy:1. Estrogen alone via a pill (Premarin, Ogen, Estrace or ethinyl estradiol), a cream (Premarin or Dienestrol), a vaginal pill (Vagifem), or as a transdermal or skin patch (Estraderm or Estracomb). 2. Cyclical therapy: Estrogen taken daily via a pill or via a patch and a separate progesterone pill (such as Provera) for a certain number of days per month. 3. Continuous therapy: Estrogen plus low dose progesterone in one or two pills taken every day.

Estrogen vaginal tablets and creams are generally prescribed nightly for 2 weeks, and then reduced to twice per week as a long-term “maintenance therapy.” Phytoestrogens are found in soy products (e.g., tofu, tempeh, miso, soybean milk, and meat substitutes and soy powders for adding to foods or to smoothies), in linseed (flaxseed) products, and to a lesser extent, in fruits, vegetables, cereals, and seeds. Concentrated plant estrogens in tablet form have not been shown to be effective. Regular exercise also has benefits for other parts of the body, high blood pressure, and diabetes, as well as gives you more energy and better sleep. Herbal medicine has much to offer women in the treatment of symptoms associated with menopause.